That night when dad came to do his usual damage control, I was done. I looked him right in the eye and said, If mom doesn't mean it, why does she keep saying it? And why don't you ever tell her to stop? He got all uncomfortable and started his usual excuses, but I cut him off. Dad, if someone kept telling you they wished you were dead, would you just accept it because they were angry? Would you want mom to defend that person? He went quiet for a really long time. Then he said, You're right, this isn't normal, and it's not okay. The next morning at breakfast, dad sat both of us down. He told mom that what she's been saying to me was emotional abuse and that it needed to stop immediately. If she was angry, she could ground me or take away my phone, but the cruel comments were over. My mom tried to argue that I was being too sensitive, but Dad shut it down. He said, how would you feel if your mother told you she wished you were never born? Because that's what you're doing to our daughter. She actually started crying and said she didn't realize how bad it sounded. She apologized for the first time ever and promised to work on controlling her temper. It's been two weeks since then and she hasn't said anything like that once. We still argue sometimes, but now she just tells me I'm grounded instead of attacking my existence. And dad doesn't have to play mediator anymore because there's nothing to excuse. Sometimes all it takes is one person willing to call out toxic behavior instead of making excuses for it.
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